Earlier this week I was working through the disappointment of facing the prospect of the retreat I am booked to co-lead not going ahead due to lack of numbers.
I trusted in God, and committed it to him. Yesterday I prayed through Psalm 139, acknowledging that God knows me, he knows when I sit and when I rise. There is nowhere I can go and nothing I can say or think that he doesn’t already know. All my life has been, and will be, in his hands. There is nowhere I can go that he won’t be there, guiding me and with me. Therefore I know that whatever the future holds, it will be fine as he will be there.
Today is the 21st anniversary of my being ordained a priest. I awoke feeling a little emotional at the thought of not being licensed – what does it mean to be a priest without a ministry? What lies ahead for me? What road will I take next? And especially if the retreat and quiet days don’t materialise?
Those of you in the UK of a certain age may remember a TV advert for tinned fruit that had the line “The man from Del Monte, he say yes”. This afternoon I phoned the retreat house to discuss the situation and see what decision they had come to. Because Caroline and I are OK to lead a small group, then the retreat has sufficient people to run. Apparently some people are not willing to lead a retreat if there are only a small number of people. But sometimes it is better for things to grow from small beginnings. So the lady from Llangasty, she say yes…. and Caroline and I are once again excited at the prospect of this new venture in ministry.
Our disappointment has turned to delight. I’m reminded of the verses from psalm 126:
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
Below is my prayer journal page on psalm 139. Two wine labels were used. The left hand page was from a community newspaper, and as you can see the right hand page is a sheet of music. The writing in red, green and black are words from the psalm. It isn’t the prettiest page nor is it a great work of art. But that isn’t the point. It is a record of my prayer over the last couple of days.
I probably won’t be blogging much over the next 2 or 3 weeks as I have lots to do to finish preparing for the retreat. But if I have time, then I will blog.
Details of the retreat:
Elizabeth Jones' Diary 