When you know that God’s on your case……

I have just settled into evening prayer having got home from visiting my spiritual director. One of the things I wanted to discuss with her was whether or not to continue doing a blog. I started to tell her that having finished the Lent 40 Acts blogging I was considering continuing. I also said that I have very few followers because I hadn’t invited people to follow me because Jesus said when you fast and do your acts of charity don’t let people see etc. But on the other hand he also said, on another occasion, let your light shine so people will see what you do and praise your father in heaven. That’s the problem with plucking texts. I was telling her this and said that I was considering blogging as a way to get people interested in the book I’ve almost got ready for sending to publishers. Unfortunately the conversation got onto the book and didn’t return to blogging. So, no further forward. HOWEVER, when I settled into prayer I thought about that conversation and the contrast between not letting people see your acts of charity and fasting etc and letting your light shine. I proceeded with the set evening prayer using the readings set for the day. This is what the New Testament reading started with:

No one after lighting a lamp hides it under a jar, or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a lampstand, so that those who enter may see the light. For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light. Then pay attention to how you listen; for to those who have, more will be given; and from those who do not have, even what they seem to have will be taken away.’ (Luke 8:16-18)

It isn’t the exact one I’d been thinking of but nevertheless very close!!!!

God has brought me on a journey of great spiritual, emotional and psychological healing and growth. I do have a sense that he will use what I have learnt to help others. At one time I thought it might be in the area of spiritual direction. Now I am not so sure. With the success of the quiet day on Saturday and the encouragement I’ve had when people have liked some of my poems then maybe this is the direction I need to go in. If so, the phrase: “for to those who have, more will be given and from those who do not have, even what they seem to have will be taken away” becomes important. I have been given much, and I do want to share it with others, not to blow my own trumpet or say ‘look at me, how spiritual I am etc?’ But to say “look at God – how great he is, look at what he can do in and through an ordinary woman like me…. and so he can through anyone like you.”

So, I will blog and invite Facebook friends to take a look and like my diary page. Not every day as I did during Lent as that was a bit too much, but I will aim to perhaps do something each week. Or more often if here’s something worth writing about. One of the suggestions that my spiritual director make was that I re-visit some of the pictures that I intend putting in the book. That could perhaps be my next project, alongside contacting publishers to see if the book is worth taking on. The picture below was drawn 10 years ago whilst I was on retreat having just separated from my husband.

Overall, as I reflect on the day, I feel very positive. It is a year since I moved and the time has gone very quickly. I have settled in well but it has been quite tiring….. I ain’t as young as I used to be!!! Nevertheless, I do feel that this is where God wants me to be.