I had been expecting it for a while, ever since I phoned up the publishers enquiring about how long it might be before my book hits the shelves. However, yesterday when the post arrived I ignored one envelope, thinking it was publicity from a charity or some other routine mail, picked up and dealt with the other and then got on with a very full day. In the afternoon I casually picked up the white A4 envelope, realised it continued something thick and as I turned it over and looked at who the sender was, my heart missed a beat. It was from the publishers.
Was it the book? No, of course not. But that was my first excited thought. Then I remembered that I was expecting a manuscript to proof read and that it would not be a bound book. It was several loose pages of A4 paper, printed on one side with the proof reader’s comments in red.
It has all got a bit more real. I had a church leadership meeting in the late afternoon and I added on my agenda to share with them to expect some publicity in a few weeks time.
I didn’t sleep much last night. My head was going through all sorts of things. Some of it the manifold and many tasks that I still had to do for church events that are very quickly approaching and of course thoughts concerning the book and publicity.
Those of you who have read my poems and seen the pictures – Are We There Yet? – will know that they are of a personal nature. In the book I give the story behind them. I wasn’t having second thoughts, but it is scary to think that people who know me will know a great deal more about me when they read the book.
Then this morning, I felt that I got God’s view on the matter. At morning prayer, using the Northumbria Community readings, I read psalm 107. I usually read the whole psalm rather than just the verses suggested. I smiled when I read verse 2:
“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story –
those he redeemed from the foe”
God HAS redeemed me from the foe that is the Black Dog of depression. So I say, along with Psalm 107 verse 1:
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures for ever.”
As it was my day off today I went out for a walk in the Peak District. It started to rain and I started to think which resulted in this:
Refreshing rain soft on my face
reminds me to rest in God’s Grace